Now to Settle In

Now to settle in to our new house.

I think we are at that settling in phase now in the house.

We have had all our 'firsts'

Like our the first unlocking of the front door

Our first walk with the dog

We even had our first mouse (sadly Hector is no longer with us!),  then my first cold shower & I've already managed my first night on my own.

You get the picture we're past that stage, now just trying to settle in. I am desperately trying to find a new routine, get some normality back.  I find routine really helps me feel in control & on top of my mood.

Still feel a bit up in the air, with new furniture coming & rooms still not finished as a result.  I've unpacked, I've got things in the 'right' place, I've started decorating & making the place ours but what next?

Where do you start to build a new routine in a new house?
What it is that makes you feel settled, comfortable in your house?- any ideas will be gratefully received!

I looked & used checklists for moving so off to google I headed.  I've not only moved house, I've moved area.  So I have found a few ideas to get me settling in to a new town.

1.  Be a tourist - I am going to make a list of the things in our area you can get up to & get together with Mr Brown to plan some outings.  This is set out a plan for my days off (I like plans!) & will be a fun way to get to know the area.  I am going to start with at the local inn I noticed lots of leaflets for tourists that should be a good place to start!

2.  I'm going to get myself a local paper.  Why didn't I think of this?! Such an easy way to get to know the local goings on.  Ok I'm not sure what day it comes out or what it's called but I'm sure hubby will help by enquiring at the shop.

3. Check out the village hall - I think I know where this, I also think they have a Scottish Women's Rural Institute (the Rural) - a group of women who get together for classes & demonstrations in cooking, crafts, homemaking & keeping up Scottish traditions.  My gran & older aunts have been members in their communities.  I'll see if I can pluck up the courage to go!

That should be enough to keep me going & get me settled in.

Wish me luck.

Love Mrs Brown xx

I have a choice

THIS IS NOT A COMPLETE ACCOUNT OF THE THERAPY BUT MORE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS AND THINKING

I am currently attending a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) group as part of my treatment for depression.  I have completed a few groups now and as many of my issues are interlinked as are many of the learning points from the groups.

The group is on Assertiveness.

So two sessions in, what have I learned?

• There are 7.1 billion people in the world according to National Geographic and we all behave similarly

• There are 4 main behaviours Assertive, Passive, In direct and Aggressive

• I frequent to the Passive group, I think.  

Especially round my family, a perfect example is taking on everyone's worries and problems.  This group was described as similar to Doormats - everyone just walks all over them.  It's funny though how you accept certain demands/behaviour from family but would be damned if you would take it from others!

Guilt was touched upon again in group. Guilt is a major driving force for me, it lurks around every corner, every thought and decision, guilt is there waiting to pounce.  So if I am ever going to change things I need to work on this guilt I carry around with me.

But my massive break through, my Aha moment was

I have a choice in every situation.  

Every situation can be managed very simply by either Accepting, or Changing.  Easy right?
Well they aren't that silly, life can be hard going but you can learn to accept it or you can change it.  A good philosophy I say!


So ACCEPT or CHANGE - what would you choose?

Love Mrs Brown xx

Hair today, gone tomorrow

As part of my treatment for depression I attend groups based on CBT. They always make me take a look at myself but it varies what I take on board at the time.

I've just started another group and I have noticed that each time a group begins I feel I need to make a change.

One of the things I love about your hair is that it can be changed so very easy and can make a massive difference on the outside, which can only be a good thing on the inside.

I grew my hair for the wedding and played safe with my natural colour so not long after (on starting a group, of course!) I got it cropped and went a bit darker with a flash of purple in the front. This picture was my inspiration, loved the dark sultry look

It did the trick, I loved it! The change on the outside was the catalyst for change on the inside.  I had instant new found confidence.  A few hours in the salon, was like flicking a switch to a new Mrs Brown.

Everyone could see the difference, I mean they would be blind not to notice, but I didn't mind people commenting, I liked my new style.  It always surprises me when people say "oh, you soo brave to get it that short" or "I'm too scared to go that bold with colour".  It's painless, really! (unless bleach is involved sometimes there has to be some scalp pain involved in achieving that perfect style!)

I then decided to go darker and change to the red flash at the front.  On looking back now again this change also coincided with a new group!  Again, the new colour was an instant boost to my mood.  My new found confidence even saw me book a place at an evening vintage styling event at Miss DixieBelle's in Edinburgh!! Was a brilliant wee evening, I was quiet as usual, but fizz in a vintage tea-cup and how to do flicks on my tiny eyes was great! You should check out the Styling Parlour and boutique at www.missdixiebelle.co.uk

Yes, this is me! My hair not looking great and I seem to have crazy eyes as I was so impressed with my flicks but gives you an idea, cringe!

Since then really jus been maintaining the dark and red and growing down the sides with the thought of going back to my inverted bob (my fail safe hair do!) but .......... I've just started a new group and guess what the googling hair pictures has started again!!

So I'm thinking a dark red all over, like burgundy or mahogany and thinking bout a chop again.  I really love Frankie Sandford's style - very similar to what I did the last time but thinking of not getting the right side shaped in as much.

So what does starting a group go to do with my hair?

Your hair is part of your identity and many people go to the salon when they want to change something in their life.  Where else can you be completely transformed in a few hours?

My hairdresser can't fit me in till next Friday so I have a whole week to decide who I want to be and what I want to change.

This time, now that I am aware these hair changes are linked to my group attendance I am going to make a conscious effort to ensure my hair change isn't a replacement for the changes I want to make on the inside.  Your hair can be a quick fix but true confidence comes from more than your hair.

What does your hair say about you?  Do you fancy a change?

Any suggestions welcomed!

Love, Mrs Brown xx

p.s. I am not a hair dresser or sponsored by any colorants, just a girl who likes to shake things up in the hair department.

What's in a name?

I have noticed a change in me since becoming Mrs Brown. 

Now granted getting married changes more than just my name yet at the same time in some ways changes not a thing.  We've lived together for 3years and been engaged for 2years, so the commitment and sharing of things has not changed.  But yet I somehow feel there has been a change in me and I do feel that having a new name has played a part in this.

Your forename is given to you at birth and many believe that it can shape your identity and personality.  Many parents choose popular names, or names with great meaning but does this really impact on how your child will grow up?

Was I named Clare because of the meaning clear and bright, Or Clare after a county in Ireland, Or after Saint Clare of Assisi with the hope I would follow in these footsteps?

As I look up meaning of Clare I find myself seeing parts of 'me' in other people's suggestions.  Could there be something in my name that makes me behave like every other Clare in the world??

In getting married I am still Clare all this may meant me, but I have change my surname.

Surname - the name that attaches you to a family.  

This is the part of your name that does link you with other people.  It western culture this is known as the 'family name' and comes after your 'given name'.  When I look up Brown (Wikipedia - the font of all knowledge, not!) says it is of Scottish origin.  This pleases me as I am very proud to be Scottish and live in Scotland so maybe this somehow anchors me, makes me feel part of something.  It also says it is one of the most common family names in English speaking countries, I found this out when I changed my name at work on the computer system and went from being the only one with my maiden name to One of 55 Clare Browns!!

But what I truly believe the name change has done for me, is that it has allowed me to choose who I want to be.  To choose to let go of certain things in my past and look to the future.  It has allowed me to become part of a new family, and also to look forward to making my own family.  I have used Mrs Brown on twitter and my blog as it gives me some anonymity but at the same time it is my name!  This allows me to be the Mrs Brown I want to be.

Also knowing that I have this Mrs Brown to be compared to helps lighten my character!

Mrs Brown

What does your name mean to you?  Please feel free to comment

Mrs Brown xx

Change Challenge

So this year one of the things I've decided I'm going to change is my weight.

I have been overweight since I was 16 years old.  I was besotted with a boyfriend 6 years older than me, was studying for exams and decided I was too old for Highland Dancing so after years of dedication to this hobby I gave it up overnight.  I had classes 4 days per week with competitions at the weekend, not surprisingly as my activity levels went from hero to zero and the number on the scales just kept rising.  It went on very fast and I've struggled with my weight ever since.

Fact #1 I am a registered Dietitian
Fact #2 I know how to lose weight - 4yrs at uni and 6yrs clinical practice
Fact #3 I have wanted to lose weight, even longed for it since it piled on 13years ago!

So why is now different?  In answer to that  - I don't know, but I do hope this motivation lasts.

I have decided to put everything I know into practice - energy requirements, medical knowledge, nutritional contents, behaviour change skills, psychology and good old common sense.

So I've also started a group! Yeah I can't do anything in half measures.  So I am running a group on a Monday evening called the Change Challenge.

Each week I load the group up with information and set them a challenge to put healthy eating principles into practice.

Life doesn't get better by chance, It gets better by change.

So this week was about enjoying your food more.  This challenge asked us to slow down, relax and enjoy our food with all our senses.  Commit to eating one meal each day as if it's your favourite food in the world and your describing it to someone who's never experience this dish before.  It's about eliminating distraction, being mindful and falling in love with food again instead of it being the enemy.

The other challenge this week had the title "Dance like nobody's watching!" and I have to say I'm enjoying it even more than I thought I would.  So maybe I'll try do a blog on one of my favourite songs for this week.

Any sensible slimming tips please feel free to add them below!  This is not about fad diets but more on self acceptance and adopting a healthier lifestyle.

Over and out,

Mrs Brown xx

(bam another post in the bag!)