I wrote about self neglect and how I was pulling myself up slowly but when is the time to stop struggling on myself and ask for help?
I don't really have a support network.
I'm not sure who to turn to when the shit hits the fan.
My poor ever suffering husband is my best friend which kinda makes my inner circle very small in times of need. His poor shoulders burden a heavy load sometimes.
I have a key worker. She however has recently rescheduled two appointments. I called this week to say I couldn't make the new appointment hoping for a call back which would give me an opportunity to discuss what was swirling round my head right now. No such luck she sent me out a new appointment for 3 weeks time. So I managed to pluck up the courage to call on Friday, "sorry she doesn't work a Friday" was the response that echoed down the line. So I left a message to call me.
I suppose I shouldn't be so reliant on the community team, I should have friends and family I can talk to first. But I don't. So who do you ask for help?
It's not an emergency. In fact I'm not sure what help I need. I don't want to use the resources like Samaritans, I mean what would I say, Hi, I'm liking struggling a bit right now. Just doesn't seem like the right place to ask for help.
However I am taking the positives from the situation.
I am asking for help.
This is new for me. Must be progress! I am usually very good at bottling things up. I have now spoke with my team leader at work to make her aware, I have contacted my key worker and I have told my husband.
Although I haven't exactly got the response I wanted. I have taken the first step. Maybe the next step is to make sure I am looking in the right places for the right support.
One step at a time, though!
Love Mrs Brown xx