Saturday, 15 September 2012

Why do I cry at X factor?

Just wish I looked anything like Cheryl Cole!! 

As X factor dominates my weekend, I find myself shedding a few tears every Saturday night.

Is it the sob story that gets my tear ducts lubricated?

Is it the sad music?

I don't think so.  When I see the nervous person get on stage I feel for them.  I feel for them even more when they get a rousing reception from the crowd.

My heart breaks and the tears start to flow when they are accepted and praised for being so good, and not believing in themselves.

Until now, I had not realised what this meant to me.  I think I do now.

After catching up on my feeds in reader, I found myself relating to Extraordinary Passion: Making a Dream Come True in an unexpected way.  I feel a little embarrassed at this deep and meaningful post being linked with the trivial Saturday night tv that is X factor.  Simple things for simple people, eh?

As I said I find myself welling up as I watch these people put themselves on the line, opening themselves up to the scrutiny of not only the judges, but the crowd and the general public sitting at home judging from their arm chairs.

It's not that I want to be famous, or that I want to be a singer, although I did enjoy the stage when I was younger, it's that sense of bravery.  The courage to believe in themselves even just a tiny bit and put themselves out there.

When they are accepted by the crowd, my heart swells.  I dream of that acceptance.  Not fame, not glory just accepted for being you and believing in yourself enough to make what you really want happen.

I have a loving husband, who accepts me, encourages me and believes in me.  I have a fur baby who loves me unconditionally.  He does not judge me, he accepts me as I am.

But inside, there is still doubt.  I don't accept myself.  I don't believe.

However they say the first step in moving forward is awareness.  So today I can proudly announce on the stage that is my little blog
I am aware of my limiting beliefs
Does anything on tv make you cry?

Love Mrs Brown xx
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